Ego Trips Get In the Way of the Goals We Set

I turned 30 a couple weeks ago. I have always been of the "Young Til I Die" mentality when it comes to living my life. I had always said in my late teens and early twenties that I would be involved in hardcore and punk well into my 30s. For a couple years there, it really looked like that was not going to happen. I am done running names through the mud, but from 2003-2005, I let a couple people around here ruin what I have loved so dearly before and after without question. A few big mouths and bad attitudes turned me off from what had been my everyday routine from the moment I woke up until I turned the lights out at night. It didn't take long for me to realize that I was never going to truly give up on all of this. For starters, I have never completely stopped listening to Hardcore, I just didn't want anything to do with it for a couple years. And when I say IT, I don't mean the music, but the actual scene itself. When you make something your routine for ten or more hours a day, it will eventually get tiring with or without bad seeds around. I put every ounce of energy I had into Hardcore from 1997-2004, pretty much without stopping. I'm not sorry for anything I said from 2005-2007. I have never been the type to kiss anyone's ass or say something just to get a positive vibe out of someone. If I don't like you, I'm more than likely going to let you know if you give me enough reason to. That's just the way that I am. For me, Hardcore is supposed to be an escape from the everyday bullshit. I am not one of those people that thinks only negative people from the gutter should be in hardcore, either. While I was "raised" by a poor, single mother, I went to a Catholic school and grew up around all sorts of people. Because of this, I have always tried to accept anyone I could as long as they gave me a chance to. Now for many of my first years in Hardcore, I noticed a lot of snobby, holier than thou bullshit in my hometown. As a lot of these people were pretty "important" in my hometown, I figured it would be best not to ever get involved with any shit talk with them. I noticed many of these people were going away to college and forgetting all about hardcore one person at a time anyway. During all of this, I was quickly making a name for myself anyway through Enterprise Hardcore and all of my hard work. I even got the local media interested in the local hardcore scene, LONG before hardcore became the Hot Topic shit show that it is now. For a couple years (late 2003 to about November of 2005), I had enough of all the shit talkers and went off on every single one of them, basically one at a time. There were some shows and bands here during that time (mainly Dawn of War and Borrowed Time) that kept my interest. I also had a life changing experience when I saw the Gorilla Biscuits in Denver in 2006. There were several other bands that kept me interested throughout all of this well, including Reign Supreme, Heavy Hearted, Cold World, Blacklisted, and more recently Backtrack, Naysayer, and Take Offense. The only regret that I have ever had at any point during all of this is for the Rochester Hardcore scene. At points during these years where I was "finding myself," you were ok, and at others, you weren't. The one thing that I think everyone can say about what I did with Enterprise Hardcore is very simple. I never acted like I was better than any hardcore bands and I would give everyone a chance. On top of that, when you see "Enterprise Hardcore Presents" on a flyer you know you are getting a consistent show every time. The last year has been pretty decent though so I can't really complain. What's been most interesting to me throughout all of this is to see that hardcore really hasn't changed all that much in seven years. I have only traveled to a few out of town shows in the last couple years, but the networking and community vibe that I feel every time I set foot in a hardcore show is something very unique. That is why I am still here.